


Only one possible answer

by loveloverx



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence - The Sign of Three, Fix-It, M/M, Multi, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:02:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28208001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveloverx/pseuds/loveloverx
Summary: Mary is staring at him with a confused and worried expression on her face, and in that moment he decides to look at Sherlock. God, Sherlock.
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Kudos: 48





	Only one possible answer

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta read, all mistakes are my own.  
> English is not my native language.  
> Hope yoy enjoy.

John's standing there, looking Mary right into her eyes just about to say 'I do' when all falls right into place. He's suddenly overwhelmed with feelings, guilt and wrongness being the main ones. Because what exactly is he doing there, he doesn't know. Well, he actually does know. He's there because he's an idiot, he's a coward who couldn't accept his feelings sooner, who instead buried them deep inside him and masked it with all this farse of a wedding with a person he doesn't feel even remotely the half of things he feels for Sherlock.  
Because Sherlock, oh Sherlock is everything to him. And all that was once buried so deep with the intention to protect his own heart, is now surfacing like a drowning man taking his first breath of air. It feels like he had millions of caterpillars in his stomach that now are turning into butterflies and are flying, eager to get out, choking him in the process. He can't breathe, he's gasping for air with the amount of emotion he's feeling. 

Everyone around him is waiting for him to say something, Mary is staring at him with a confused and worried expression on her face, and in that moment he decides to look at Sherlock. God, Sherlock. When he sets his eyes on him, John knows for sure he couldn't ever go through with this, how could he? How could he ever think he could stay married to someone when his heart and soul belongs completely to somebody else.  
He wonders if Sherlock could ever feel like this for him too (he doesn't think so), but at the end it doesn't matter (oh, of course it matters. If Sherlock could feel for John even an ounce of what John feels for Sherlock it would be the best thing that has ever happened to him) because the decision he's making is not based on what Sherlock feels, is based on what HE feels. And what John feels is that he would rather spend the rest of his life being Sherlock's best friend than being with somebody else and not spending every day besides his beautiful Sherlock. What John feels is that the love he has for this man is so immeasurable that he would always be incomplete if he is with anybody else in the world. John would rather spend his entire life without having sex, but getting to see those mesmerizing eyes every time he chooses to. At the end, John would always choose Sherlock (any way he can have him), always. 

So this is the easiest decision John's ever made, really. He looks at all the people gathered there for him with apologetic eyes, then finally looks at Mary and opens his mouth to say the only thing nobody wants to hear on their wedding day, but also the only possible thing he knows is right for him, the only thing that would let him have the life that would make him happy. 

"No" he says.


End file.
